A question my friend asked

Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in years. She asked if she would notice the changes in my health, would she be able to see it?

I had to think about that.
But the answer was No, probably not.

Though I had made mention of this-or-that in our e-mails, she wouldn't necessarily see the changes.
But then I added: "not unless you lived with me... "

So, ask John and he will tell you.

He will tell you today about the increased frequency of my low-grade temps.
Yesterday we didn't keep tylenol as a staple in our home.
Those low-grade temps make me feel crummy,
but you can't see crummy.

He will tell you today how productive my cough is.
Yesterday I coughed, yet it wasn't full of "lung junk" when I did.
He will remind you that you see me after I have cleared most of the morning junk out.
You don't see my junk, but we do.

Yesterday I held two jobs, cared for myself, my mom, and took my i.v's to work with me. Yesterday I took risks.
Today I'm retired and my husband cares for me.
Today I am more calculated in my moves.

He will tell you how our vacation plans stem around when my last tune-up was and when I'll need one again.
Yesterday I did as I pleased.

He will tell you today how quickly I return to feeling crummy after a tune-up.
So, he will tell you about all his anxiety surrounding a tune-up, but will also tell you he knows I'll feel better after those 14 days; Never like yesterday, but better. So he feels better too.

He will tell you about yesterday, when we met, I was slowed, but we ran with the wind.
He will tell you about today, when playing "get a dog" and how I need to stop after the first "get" run and take 3 minutes to catch my breath.
And he will tell you how I keep trying, despite it all.

He will tell you today about all the new meds I'm on, to help prevent flare-ups and to combat secondary issues to cf.
He will tell you how much more time I spend on breathing treatments, both in time and frequency.
Yesterday I never thought I'd be like "them".

He will tell you about todays' vacations requiring more baggage, and more time in the hotel room before heading out.
Yesterday was simply albuterol and more time exploring, and going farther to do it.

He will tell you about yesterday when I could skip a few days of treatment and neither of us would notice.
He will tell you about today, how junky and short of breath I am by a missed daily treatment.

Yesterday I ran the stairs.
and he will tell you how winded I am, even after a tune-up, when I take them at a slow ascent.

Yesterday,
I (we) took my health for granted.
Today I don’t have that luxury.

So,
If you were to take a snapshot today and compare it with yesterday’s
You wouldn’t necessarily see my cf and how it’s progressed.

...But I can feel it... I can feel the changes.
And I can see it, because I live the changes.

I fight for my health everyday now,
and because I do,
you don't necessarily see my CF.


...but we do